END POWER STRUGGLES AND ANGRY OUTBURSTS

Raise Your Words, Not Your Voice

As parents, we all strive to maintain harmonious relationships with our children, but let’s face it, this can be challenging. Finding the right words can be tricky when emotions run high, and frustration sets in.

If this sounds familiar, know that you're not alone. I recently worked with parents struggling with their 10-year-old son's angry outbursts. They often found themselves entangled in power struggles and unsure how to fix the situation.

When they took a step back to understand the situation better, they discovered that their overly critical approach was causing the power struggles, which triggered his angry outbursts.

To turn things around, they began asking questions instead of being critical. This simple shift was pivotal in transforming their son's behaviour. By changing the way they communicated, they created a more supportive environment.

By asking questions, they better understood their son's perspective, which helped to calm his angry outbursts and end power struggles between them.

So, if you're feeling overwhelmed or frustrated by arguments and power struggles, remember that asking questions can be a powerful tool. It can help calm your child's emotions and create a stronger bond between you both.

Why Asking Questions is Effective

When it comes to parenting, encouraging your children to think critically is essential. Asking questions is a great way to foster this skill. This approach helps children develop their own ideas and opinions, boosting their confidence and self-esteem.

But it's not just about critical thinking. Asking questions also strengthens the relationship between you and your children. When children feel heard and understood, it deepens your connection and mutual understanding.

Asking questions encourages problem-solving, making children more resilient and better equipped to handle challenges.

Perhaps the most important benefit is showing your children you value and respect their thoughts and opinions. When children feel heard and respected, they're more likely to open up and share their feelings, leading to stronger relationships with you and others in their lives.

So, if you want to improve your relationship with your children and end angry outbursts, try asking questions instead of being critical. Raise your words, not your voice, and you'll be amazed at the difference it can make.

20 Questions to Ask Instead of Being Critical

Critical Comment vs. Questions to Ask Instead

1.    "Why are you being so difficult?" vs. "What's making you upset right now?"

2.    "You're being ridiculous." vs. "How can I help you feel better?"

3.    "I'm the parent here. You need to listen to me." vs. "What can we do to work through this situation together?"

4.    "I can't believe you are late again." vs. "What can we do to be on time?"

5.    "You need to respect me and do what I say." vs. "How can we communicate in a way that shows respect?"

6.    "I don't have time to be late again in the morning." vs. "Have you got everything ready for school in the morning?"

7.    "Stop being such a baby." vs. "Do you want a hug?"

8.    "You need to do what I say." vs. "How can we find a solution that works for both of us?"

9.    "Why are you acting like this? It's so frustrating." vs. "What is the matter?"

10.    "You're making a big deal out of nothing." vs. "What is bothering you?"

11.    "I'm tired of arguing with you. Just do what I say." vs. "How can we cool down right now?"

12.    "Do as I say, not as I do." vs. "Can you think of a compromise?"

13.    "You're being so disrespectful right now." vs. "How can we talk with respect?"

14.    "You should have known better than to act that way." vs. "What can we learn from this situation?"

15.    "This is not negotiable." vs. "What is it that you want?"

16.    "You're being annoying right now." vs. "How can we improve our communication?"

17.    "You're being so sensitive." vs. "How can we both be fair?"

18.    "You don't know what's best for you. I do." vs. "How can we avoid hurting each other's feelings in the future?"

19.    "I can't deal with you right now." vs. "What do you think would be a fair solution?"

20.    "I did what was best for me." vs. "I am sorry I hurt you; how can I put this right?"

Using questions like these and other vital strategies in the Parent's Guide to Children's Behaviour can transform your parenting and create more peace and harmony in your home. A more positive and collaborative approach can encourage cooperation and significantly reduce family stress.

So why not give it a try? You might be surprised at the positive impact it can have on your family's dynamic.

Thanks for reading!

Ruth